Another woman loves him!
I'm not sat here trying to work out what i'm going to right next.
The fact is I think Dante is cheating on me.
I see him a lot less and one day I decided to go through his phone. earlier that day he was telling me that his freind's wife had caught him out after she saw a message on his phone from a girl saying she has had the abortion and his friend's wife kicked him out.
Well I have never in the past gone through his personal belongings cos I trusted him that much. But with me not seeing him as much and him being so evasive sometimes, I decided to have a quick look. I was so nervous doing it hoping I won't find anything. My heart was racing so fast and my hands were shaking. He was upstairs and I saw the phone on the setee and went for it.
A message appears in his inbox from what sounds like an Eastern European girl telling him that she loves him, misses hin and another one that says can she ring him. In his outbox he tried sending her a picture of himself but it failed.
Instead of taking the number down and ringing it I confronted him straightaway. He was angry that i had gone through his phone but swears that I am being para and that this girl is soemone that is obsessed with him and think she's in love with. I asked wr she got the number from. He says she got it from his friend's phone. So I asked about why he was trying to send her a pic of him? I can't even remember the answer cos I was that upset.
All he kept on saying that he was with me and nobody else, but i'm still upset and its been a few weeks now. I really really love him and was planning to tell my parents just after my sisters wedding at christmas.
But now I am not sure. I really want to believe him and everything is fine when he's around but when he's not which is quite often these days I am so paranoid and keep having to tell myself that I'm being stupid. But I can't stop thinking about it. I don't even feel like writing about it cos i'm too upset but I want to believe him and I really want it to work out.
Everytime I see his phone i want to go into it and have a look and i think if I can only have one more look, just to be sure, then it might put my mind at ease.
The only reassurance he gave me is that he will have a word with this woman and tell her to back off!
In the meantime I'm trying not think about it, dante's right i need to forget about it if I want to move on!
Comments
Wat A lying miss rugina.
And if true wat u say, repent to allah otherwise your life is going know where girl.
You will be destroying yourself for cimmitting adultery with a adulterer.
may allah guide you and do not be the one who allah does not guide.
Posted by: anon | October 17, 2007 02:43 PM
Hey Rujina,
I think it sounds like you are not satisfied with his answer, so you're still stressed about it. I don't know if maybe you didnt give enough details, but I didn't think his explanation was satisfactory.
I've been cheated on before, so I know what it feels like to find out, or think you've found out and then deal with confrontations etc. Firstly, if it's innocent how come he didn't tell you himself and instead you had to confront him? Also, if she found him through his friend's phone, how did it go so far that she finds herself in love with him? Thirdly, I find the fact he brought up his friend's infidelity a bit suss... maybe he was trying to see how you might react to the idea of infidelity? Or maybe it really was all innocent.
I think until you have resolved these trust issues you should definitely put all ideas of telling your parents about him out of your head. There is no point in putting your parents through all that heartache if it turns out he's not The One.
I hope it is all a misunderstanding, and everything turns out fine because it sounds like Dante really does make you happy. However, be careful about thinking you're the one being paranoid and insecure, because those texts are certainly things that would make any sane person suspicious.
Good luck!
Aysha
Posted by: Aysha | October 17, 2007 09:24 PM
This is not the first time love and certainly not going to be the last for a black man.
It looks like some has choices and can get away better than others (your ex husband for example)
Posted by: Anonymous | October 18, 2007 05:01 PM
Rugina,
if you only ever listen to one piece of information in your life, listen to this one...trust your instincts
I will not go into it but i have been in that situation and there is never smoke without fire
walk away now before you invest more into this relationship - you will drive yourself mad wondering where he is or who he is with alwys feeling the need to check his phone, the trust is gone and the relationship is over - you dont want to live like that.
i dont normally do blogs or leave messages but i couldnt not give you this piece of advice
Posted by: Asma | October 18, 2007 05:26 PM
What goes around come around honey.
You may not have cheated on your ex husband, but you certainly treated him like dirt so now you must understand how that feels.
Posted by: Anonymous | October 19, 2007 01:30 PM
errm.. are u ok? just wondering coz we haven't heard frm u for a long time!
hopefully its just wrk and stress?! X
Posted by: PEP | January 15, 2008 02:56 PM