Asian News Blog

I'm not a violent person at all. Honestly the only fight I was ever involved in was in high school and that was when this girl slapped me across the face for no reason and I hit her back. But apart from that I do not have a violent bone in my body, I'm not an argumentative type either and usually try not to let things bother me or I just stay quiet, it's easier for me to deal with things this way.

However something happened last Thursday, I'm a bit embarrassed about it but it wasn't entirely my fault.

First of all the ex-husband was suppose to come around for his gold chain. We arranged for him to come in the evening after work when my sister and house mate will be around. We agreed on 8pm.

But he turned up at 5.30pm. Raeni was at home doing her exercises in her bedroom, so I just let him in thinking it was going to be a five minute job and I can kick him out again.

He came with some friend I had never seen before so I told this friend to wait outside which he wasn't happy about but its my house and I decided who comes in.

It was really awkward seeing the ex again, Raeni popped her head around the door and took a good luck at him before returning to her room.

He had lost weight, but when I actually married him he had purposely put on weight so not to look too scrawny - I guess he had gone back to how he usually looked.

There was an awkward silence between us, I didn't know what to say to him and he was just looking around the room, probably to see if there was any trace of a man in the house, but anything that belonged to Dante was in Raeni's room.

Finally I asked him where he thought he had put his good chain away. He said it was in my jewellery box – though I've never seen it there - I asked him if he was sure, he said yes.
He then said he'll go upstairs and take it. I told him I'll bring the box downstairs. So I went to the bedroom and was taking the box out when he followed me upstairs commenting that the house looked different. I wasn't happy about him coming upstairs but didn't say anything.

I took out my jewellery box and looked through it. There was nothing there. I asked him if he was sure he had left it behind. He reminded me he did not have a chance to take all his things because I had locked him out.

He then said he might have left it in one of my drawers and attempted to open them. But I stopped him, he had no right to just go through my drawers.. I said to him wait downstairs and I'll have a look through it, but that I was sure I did not have the gold chain. He wouldn't go down. So I rumbled through my belonging and there was nothing there.

He then demanded that I should hand the gold chain over. I told him I did not have it and I would have given it back if I had seen it. He then accused me of always wanting this chain and that I was envious of it. I just looked at him in disgust. Why would I be envious of a gold chain I asked? I had plenty at home and am not a particular fan of Asian gold especially the ones from Bangladesh..

I said to him it wasn't in the house and that if he wanted to take his vacuum cleaner and microwave, then he can do so and leave.

He then goes to me: "OK gima." He has called me a gima many times in the past. It's actually meant to be magi which means whore in Bangla but he whenever he wanted people not to understand what he was saying he turned it the other way around and called me gima.

I didn't want to retaliate and get into a big argument. Any chance of talking and clearing the air disappeared from my mind and I asked him to take his things and leave.

But he kept on calling me gima and it was really winding me up, he was in my house insulting me. I asked him several times to please leave but he wouldn't budge and dared me to move him out of the way. I attempted to get out of the room to call my dad and even shouted for Raeni but he blocked my way. Raeni's music was on and she couldn't hear me.

Visions of being raped raced through my head, surely I thought he wouldn't harm me..

He pushed me back into the room. I tried calling out for Raeni again but no answer.

He could tell I was a little scared but I tried again to leave the room and this time he grabbed me. I had my phone in my hand and smacked it across his face quite hard, in fact so hard that I broke his tooth.

I ran into Raeni's room and locked the door and I called my dad from her phone. She put the music down and all I could hear was the ex crying out for his parent really loudly. He kept on saying "that magi broke my tooth, she broke my tooth."

I could hear him wailing up and down the bedroom, crying like a baby. I didn't mean to break his tooth, I only wanted to get away from him and I was scared of what he would have done.

He then rang someone on his phone, I think it was his parents in Bangladesh and he was telling them that I had hit him, but he failed to mention that he tried blocking me into my bedroom and tried grabbing me as I tried to leave and of course calling me a whore and trying to provoke me.

I called my dad and told him what had happened. he said he was on his way.
Raeni was quite frightened at this point. We just stayed in her bedroom waiting for my dad to come.

The ex was still crying. He walked into the hall way and shouted at me telling me his tooth had been smashed. I couldn't help but tell him that I'd buy him a new one and to get out of my house before I called the police. We heard him go downstairs but he hadn't left the house.

We were so nervous, my heart was beating really fast. I had contemplated in ringing the police but dad told me to wait for him.

As soon as my dad arrived he called for me. I went running downstairs to tell him exactly what had happened. But the ex beat me to it and said to my dad that his “fagol” (mad) daughter had hit him and broke his tooth on purpose and he started wailing again. My dad look shocked and agitated, he did not know what to do. At that point I actually felt like doing the same to his other teeth.

I took my dad into the kitchen and explained exactly what had happened.

My dad went back into the lounge and asked the ex for his side of the story.

This is what the ex said. That he was minding his own business, looking for his chain when I walked in and hit in the face because he wouldn't give me a divorce so I can marry my boyfriend.

My dad asked the ex if he took him for a fool.

Dad said he knew his daughter too well and I was not the type to go around hitting people. At that point my mum arrived, panting heavily asking for me. I had to explain to her what had happened. She looked at him and said it was a shame I hadn't broken the rest of his teeth. The ex was trying to go for the sympathy card by showing us the shattered teeth in his hands, but it wasn't working on my mum. She asked him why he had come to my house three hours early. He said he had to go somewhere later and didn't think coming early would have been a problem.

My mum suggested to him that he had come early because he thought nobody else would have been at home, she then turned around to me and gave me an earful for opening the door to him in the first place and then my dad had a go at me as well!

But their attention soon turned to him. My dad didn't get a chance to say anything as my mum ripped into the ex with some very harsh words.

She told him that he too had a sister back home meaning that bad karma always gets around.

She even had a go at his height saying she should have checked his heels the very first time she saw him and that him and his family in particularly his dad had lied to us from the start. My mum was blazing him with it and my dad to calm her down.

On top of that my brother was ringing my dad constantly on the phone telling them that he was on his way. My brother was on fire after he heard that I had been called a prostitute. In fact I didn't want the ex in the house when my brother arrived because there will be trouble. But it didn't take telling the ex twice to leave as soon as he heard my brother was on his way.

The ex grabbed some tissue, and left the house. My mum told him not to forget the microwave and vacuum cleaner and threw it out at the front.

His friend who had been pacing up and down the street was still waiting.

My dad was a bit concerned about what the ex might go around telling people. My mum said she didn't care and after a cup of tea they all left.

Raeni, fascinated by all the goings on came downstairs to say sorry for not hearing my calls. I told her it wasn't her fault.

I told Dante that evening. He was soooooooooo mad at me for not calling him. But one punch from Dante would have knocked the ex out cold and I didn't want him to get into any trouble.

Anyway the following morning, it turns out the ex has told people that my parents had invited him to my house on the false pretence of working things out and then got my brother to beat him up!!!! My parents would never ever do anything like that! And people think that I didn't give him a chance!

On Monday my dad personally went to Manchester County Court to get me a divorce application which I have now filed.

My cousin recently saw the ex with a tooth missing at the front and told him he was lucky it wasn't the front two. My cousin also told him that my offer to pay for it still stands provided he finds himself an NHS dentist!