Asian News Blog

I'M floating on cloud nine at the moment. As Dante was leaving on Saturday he told me he loved me, well it was more like 'I love you babes" as he was leaving the house, it took me by surprise even though we've been spending a lot of time together and feelings have been growing very strong, I thought it was going to be a while before anything was going to be said especially as he was so laid back about everything.

We've only been seeing each other for over two months but it feels like we've been together for ages. Anyway I keep thinking about those words and i've got a continuous big smile on my face.

When I was with my ex boyfriend I was very young and very naive and at 19 I don't think I knew what i was doing and it certainly wasn't a mature relationship like the one I have now.

Now I am experiencing everything as a woman and it's so different. First of all having my own space and not sneaking behind my parents back makes a huge difference. There's better communication and understanding between us and these two months have just been extremely nice. We get on so well, we've not argued, neither of us are bad tempered and is there's a problem we just tell each other and sort it out. He likes his own space and so do I and we let each other just get on with things.

My brother met him recently. He was at my house laying new tiles in the bathroom when Dante came around to see me. I introduced Dante as a friend and they got on really well talking about the usual boy stuff, you know about football, cars, building etc. Dante helped my brother out and the job got done. I left them to it pleased it was going so well and then my dad walked in to see how my brother was getting on and if he needed any help and also I think my dad was probably trying to get away from my mum who had been nagging him about his smoking all morning.

My dad was a bit surprised to see Dante but they started chatting away like they've known each for ages. My dad loves talking in English and showing people that he can speak the language and he thrives on any opportunity to do that.
In fact my dad didn't even lift a finger as him and Dante talked about football. Both being ardent Manchester United fans. they were getting on pretty well. I was so pleased but I do wonder if Dante would have got the same reception had my dad known about us.

When my brother finished and packed his tools the men went outside and then they got into a huge conversation about cars. Dante's sporty golf was parked outside and my dad seemed impressed and told him next time he wouldn't mind taking it for a spin.

After my dad and brother left Dante took a deep breath. He'd been nervous throughout and was hoping my dad wouldn't catch on about me and him. He seemed impressed with my dad in that my dad did not have a problem in me having a black friend especially a male 'friend'. He told me he had some Asian friends who had not even invited him to their house and once he said hello to a friend's sister and the guy had not spoken to him since and all Dante was trying to do was try and be polite.

I was glad my family had left such an impression on him and vice versa. My mum even rang me up later to tell my 'friend' to go round to her house as she wants a kitchen extension. But she then told me to make sure that he didn't come around to mine too often, "you know what men are like he might just end up liking you" she said to me. I told her I understood - even thought it was too late for that!

Yesterday we both went to the Baishaki Mela celebrations in London. I really wanted to show Dante a bit of our own culture. Though it was miserable weather we loved it. My sisters came with me and we just soaked in the atmosphere, listened to some great music and finished our day off with a meal in Brick Lane. Dante was fascinated and even bought himself a Bangladeshi flag and got his mum a mura to sit on. We got no trouble. There were a few people who stared at us but majority of them didn't look twice. Maybe that's because we were in London and mixed relationships were more accepted. Dante's now promised to take me to their Notting Hill festival in the summer so I can learn a little bit more about his culture.

As for the ex husband, well I've not heard from him since my mum gave him a bollocking over the phone about the crank calls. He vehemently denied it and she ended her phone call by telling him in Bangla (it does sound a lot worse in Bangla) that if "he has ever drank his mother's milk" he'd leave me alone. My mum is easy going but she can be cold when she wants to be!

A day later he rang my mum back to tell her that he wants to end it all but that he had left some gold behind at my house and wants it back. Apparently he has left behind a gold chain and ring. I can recall him wearing it at some point but not leaving it behind. He told my mum that he'd like to come and collect it along with a few other things, like the microwave and the cheap vacuum cleaner he bought from Asda. Mum said if he wants to take the things he bought then let him. So he's coming around Thursday evening to collect what belongs to him. My housemate and my sister will be there so I've got nothing to worry about in case he wants a big showdown! Dante really wants to be there, but told him he can't come near my house whilst the ex is there.

I don't really want to see the ex but I was thinking that I'd like to clear the air with him and try and have a mature conversation with him. I realise that changing the locks and giving him the elbow may not have been the best of ways to kick someone out (though at the time it seemed my only option) but I do want to explain why I did what I did and that it could never have worked out. I don't expect him to understand, but (and I know this sounds selfish and yes it probably is) It'll make me feel better by trying to clear the air a little!