I HATE him so much right now
My ex husband is stalking me and giving my friends crank calls. One friend, a white girl, says she's been getting calls at 1am, all she can hear is kitchen clatter, menu orders being barked out to what she thinks is a chef and Asian men laughing in the background.
Another friend has had so far 21 different men ring her up. It turns out these men received a text message from someone saying "Hi my name is XX, please ring me on dis number XXXX" and in one day she was bombarded with phone calls. Some of the men were polite. She explained to them what she thinks has happened and many have not rang back. But then there's others, who can't speak a word of English and keep telling her that they want to be friends, even "special" friends. Others have been kind enough to give us the original mobile number from where the text came from.
We decided to ring, and guess who answered the phone? The ex. Just to be sure we rang again, it was definitely him. My friend was very pissed off and just as she started to give him an earful, his phone went dead and that particular number has been turned off since then.
But that's not all, some male colleagues at work have also been getting strange calls, again they can hear kitchen clatter and Asian voices. I dare not say it's my ex, I feel embarrassed about it as it is, instead I listen, too embarrassed to say anything to them and inside the anger is just building up, I want to rip his face off!
The ex had a habit of always going through my phone. I never had anything to hide so always left my phone lying around and he must have just taken down everybody's number, the sad pathetic bastard.
And now I have started getting crank calls by various different men. Again some wanted to be friends, others ring up at 3am and make disgusting love making sounds down the phone.
Right now I am really really mad and just want to rinse his neck. My dad has told the ex's uncle but that is not going to achieve anything. Now I might be getting paranoid, but I even get the feeling i'm being followed sometimes. I don't tell my mum because she always worries he might break into the house and kill me and this will only make her more paranoid.
Dante sleeps with his phone on every night in case I need him and has even threatened to go down to the restaurant where the ex works and beat him up. I told him I will love that but it wasn't necessary, if anybody was going to beat anybody up it will be me and I plan to knock the ex out.
I am now changing my number, both my friends have had to do the same.
I've also rang immigration to tell them that we have separated. Legally he is allowed to stay here until his visa runs out, but if he tries to make an application for indefinite leave and put my false signature on, immigration will know straightaway.
On top of that my aunt all off a sudden started putting pressure on me to get back together again. She thinks it looks bad on the family especially as she is trying to get her daughters married and when potential in-laws heard about me, my aunt says it reflected badly on them. However, it turns out only one family had made a comment about me, but nobody else really cared and I told my aunt in the most nicest way that I wasn't going to do anything to please anybody except myself - as selfish as that maybe!
Sometimes I have felt guilty about the split and have even felt sorry for the ex at times. Once I even considered making him legal. But now I HATE him like I've never hated anybody before and I don't usually hate people, in fact I can't think of anybody that I hate, but the EX, I HATE him, I hope lightning strikes him, I hope he chokes on his food, I want the roads to open up and swallow him so he never resurfaces again. I want to publicly humiliate him, you know how they do in these Asian dramas, slap him across the face in a room full of people with everybody looking on thinking he deserves it but shocked at the same time cos he was slapped by a woman.
Honestly though I can't wait to get my hands on him!
Comments
Don't make the mistake of ever taking him back and it's absolutely fantastic you have called immigration.
Posted by: Salma | April 17, 2007 10:57 PM
I always check your blog to see if you've updated, so keep writing! I know this is your real life and not some cheesy Asian drama, but I love reading about it.
Posted by: diva | April 18, 2007 04:54 AM
yeh and how do you know she's not making it up diva
Posted by: Anonymous | April 18, 2007 11:45 AM
Diva - me too. I always check to see whats the update.
Rujina i'm glad you've called immigration. What a fool pranking your mates. kkkeeeeppp writing!
Posted by: fahana | April 18, 2007 06:41 PM
Is this anyway for two adults to behave? Why don't you talk to him about this instead of hassling his family?
Posted by: Lutfur Rahman | April 18, 2007 06:44 PM
How is he harassing his family? From what I have read he is harassing hers!
Posted by: Rachel | April 19, 2007 01:03 AM
To some people rujina's story may sound incredible but this is the harsh reality of how it is for some girls.
In fact I know of girls who have gone to hell and back, now if you heard their stories you will think that I was making it up.
I use to work in a women's refuge where we got many women from the asian community, I use to listen to their stories and just sit with disbelief at the kind of things some asian men will do to their wives.
One woman who left her husband had to move 34 times in one year because her ex kept on following her, when he did manage to get hold of her he burnt her hands and legs and beat her so badly she is partially deaf in one ear.
So rujina has every right to worry about crank calls. Please don't ignore them and try not taking anything into your own hands!
Posted by: shelly | April 19, 2007 02:27 PM
oh gosh.. it looks like the guy is getting desperate, but since all they do is call and snicker it does't seem too dangerous! maybe his intention is just to annoy youto to the extent that you give in and sign his immigration papers just to give you guys peace and to stop him spreading 'round stories about you all!
you know that was intelligent letting the authorities know and he doesn't deserve living here- to make south-east asians look bad!
just reading about him makes me cringe.. i can't imagine how it must be for you! still be carefulXXX
Posted by: preeti | April 20, 2007 09:25 AM
Hiya
I'm a friend of Rujina and unfortunately for me, I have been getting crank calls. Not as bad as some of our other friends and I think this is probably because i'm white and can't really say much back in their language, but it's pretty freaky at times especially when I get woken up at 1am and all I can hear in the background is a bunch of men laughing into the phone and whispering my name. Sometimes they even play Indian music.
Of course this is nothing new. When rujina came to visit me in London, her ex husband was so paranoid that not only did he keep on ringing her mobile to see where she was but also mine to make sure the background noise matched and to top it off he even rang my mum's home asking for her, my mum lives in the north and was very worried for rujina when her ex rang thinking she would get into trouble. Now what kind of a man does that?
Of course he was invited to come to london but he refused so she came alone. Of course he ruined the trip for both of us. When she woke up the following morning she had over 80 missed calls from her ex which he had made in one night. She was fast asleep during the night and left her phone on silent and told him this as well.
I have always been nothign but kind to him and now he is calling my phone and harassing me. There seems to be many comments from people that she is making this up, I assure she is not, I wish she was making it up but she is not which is why i felt compelled to write from my point of view.
Now she has met a wonderful man and I hope things work out between them! xxx
Posted by: friend | April 20, 2007 09:46 AM
Whats the update rujina
Posted by: fahana | May 2, 2007 07:37 PM
You are a strong woman Rujina!!! Im so proud of you
Posted by: Ashley DaCosta | May 9, 2007 01:27 AM
preeti your comments aren’t valid I feel that your think you represent the whole of south east Asia. Even in tasty jerk you thought you could make a relevant comment and stick up for rujina and diss afsana. I think wat rujina did to her husband is wrong she didn’t even give him a chance
Posted by: hussnein | May 9, 2007 01:37 PM
she stupid and she should get a life. her husband would have treated her like royalty but she had to stray from him. i think he is a good man and dosn't deserve a woman like u... preeti u r a stupid woman who thinks she understands the whole of the south eastern asians. u dont understand because u probably have never experience what Rujina has been through. shelly all asian men are bad and we treat women bad!!! have u even dated or married an asian man? we arent wat you think. you have no clue not even the slightest. so why do u say such things against asian men. we arent all bad and you mustn't be very culturally aware. this man deserve a second chance it is for the good of your future and will make your family happy.
Posted by: J | May 9, 2007 01:57 PM
Good on you Rujina for calling the authorities. Mr J please step out of your bubble of disillusion. No one has claimed that asian men are monsters so why are you getting so defensive? Rujina is talking about one individual who happens to be asian who has acted diabolically with her. Why is it so wrong that she needs to get a life. It seems that because she is not conforming to the rules set by our culture thus stems your dislike of her. She has been brave to tell her story and I highly doubt her story is untrue. It has happened in the past is happening now and will continue to happen in the future, where men treat their wives with disregard and disrespect. The difference being in the past woman lived their lives suffering mental, emotional and physical trauma all because they feared the consequences. These women may have had children to think about and getting divorced is not socially acceptable or financially they would have been in deep waters. These days women have become more independent however intrinsically we strive for a harmonious relationship with our husbands with full intentions of procreation.
However if the husband has no social or moral values in this case sending strange men to his wife's door at inappropriate times of the night and calling her a whore what is the guarantee that he would not sell his wife for a few pounds? He does not care for her because his sole purpose was have a servant waiting on him hand on foot- in such a case he should have married a servant. He wanted someone to cook for him- he should have married a cook. He wanted someone to clean for him- he should have married a cleaner. What are the odds he would not have minded if she was a whore in the bedroom?
No woman would object to a bit of cooking and cleaning but if two people live in a home it is both their responsibilities.
As for keeping her family happy if she is blessed by Allah (swt) with wonderful family members then in her happiness lies theirs.
Mr J you claim that Preeti has no room to comment as she has not experienced what Rujina has. Does that then not put you in the same category?
I think some of you guys should give Rujina a break. She certainly deserves one.
Posted by: Rujina Begum NCL | May 10, 2007 02:59 AM
'' I think wat rujina did to her husband is wrong she didn’t even give him a chance ''
OHMMMM HUSSNEIN PLS REFRAIN FROM JUDGING ........ contradictin urslf ther mann!
Posted by: fatima | May 10, 2007 11:48 PM
let me get this story straight, she went out with a guy for 3 years, he leaves her, so she decided to get married to a freshie (bad move), she should have known, then she dumped him for own selfish reasons and her needs. she then claims that all asian men are narrow minded. you didnt give this guy a chance to improve, once you noticed that his life is not westernised, you then kicked him out.
and by the way Rujina Begum NCL, how can you justify this lady when she has done so much wrong. how could you say to give her a break, when she didnt even give her ex a break.
listen rujina i have been in this situation before and it has worked out for me. i am currently married to a women from back home who i love and adore, and she loves me to. my wwife from back home cleans and cooks and does everything a good wife should do to make a marriage work. even i play my role as i look after 4 young children, whilst she goes and works part time.
rujina did not even try to make it work, so she must blame herself, for the mistakes that she has made.
Posted by: mr j | May 11, 2007 11:05 AM