Asian News Blog

My cousin's wife called me last night to visit her. The call took me by surprise as she rarely speaks to me and the only time she ever asks me anything is when she wants to know whether I want tea or coffee. My cousin married her from Bangladesh four-years-ago and I guess I've found it hard to relate to her because I can't converse fluently in Bangla and often find it difficult to explain myself.

Well I went down to her house yesterday. My cousin was at work. I tried making little conversation, you know, how are the kids, how's family back home etc, but then there was a long awkward silence. She was fidgety and I wondered what was wrong. After serving tea and biscuits she even put on a video of her parent's home in Bangladesh pointing out to me who was who.

After about 40 mins, and by then even I was getting fidgety too, she asked if she can show me something. But she made me promise I will not tell any other member of the family.

I said fine and she went upstairs and then brought down an Asda carrier bag, inside it she took out another small bag and from that she pulled out two small little bags which had me choking on my tea.

One bag looked like it had weed in it and the other had some powdery white stuff. Her hands were trembling when she showed it to me. She said she had an idea what it was but wanted me to confirm it. I explained the weed and the white powdery stuff, well I thought it was cocaine but i've never come across it before but was quite sure it was. I asked her where she had got it from, hoping that the answer wasn;t that she was some addict and needed help with her addiction!

She told me she found it in my cousin's jacket just before she put it in the wash. She said she didn't know who else to tell and was worried sick that her husband was using it on a regular basis. By then even I was too shocked to say anything. My cousin never came across as the type to use drugs and was always banging on about how drugs was a menace to society and he wished he could just go around locking up all drug dealers. His wife had never come across drugs before, but she said she'd seen it on TV and that's how she recognised it. She told me she had also watched a Sylheti film called 'Shopner Desh.' The film was about drugs abuse in the Bangladeshi community in the UK and she didn't want to see her husband end up in the street or worse killed because of his addiction. She was so terrified about the consequences she was unable to talk. Her husband didn't know that she had found the drugs but that after she had put the jacket in the washer, he went frantic looking for it and had a go at her for not consulting him on household chores especially the washing!

I asked her if he had changed in anyway. She told me he slept throughout the day, but always came home late and she felt he was out with his friends from the restaurant most nights. She said she thought they were all at it, which they probably were. My cousin has always been an outgoing person and surrounded himself with his friends all the time, they worked together, played together and am sure they were doing drugs together as well.

She also said he was beginning to spend all his money and hardly gave her much to run the house and that his behaviour had only started changing in the last six months.

I wasn't sure what advice or reassurance to give her. She didn;t want me to tell my cousin that she had found the drugs, I wasn't sure how else to approach him about it! I'm glad she had told someone though like I said i'm no expert on drugs advice. I told her not to worry and that i'd work something out. I took the drugs offer and emptied it out in the drains in the backyard and told her to ring me if she needed anything.

Now I need to get hold of my cousin, maybe invite him around for some tea or even dinner and find out what's happening somehow without landing his wife in it.

I've heard of many stories of how drugs has ruined the lives of families, it was a major problem now in the Bangladeshi community, but I think it has been a problem in the Asian community as a whole for years and is only getting worse and families and the community did not know how to handle it. I have a younger brother and when we found out his friend was licking shots as they say, we banned him from seeing him, my brother wasn't happy about it at all, his excuse was he wasn't involved in it so why shouldn't he see is friends when he wanted? This method didn't work and we told his friend to stay away from my brother or there will be trouble. Me and my sisters harassed this guy over the phone until he stopped hanging around with my brother. We just didn't want any of that influence around the family and now I want to do what I can to help my cousin as well whether he wants my help or not! Just how am going to help is the big question.

I've text him that I want to see him soon and am just waiting for a reply. In the meantime I have to think carefully about what I can do to help!